Is the Cry It Out Method of Sleep Training Right for Your Baby?
Cry it out method teaches babies to sleep independently, yet it’s important for parents to make sure their child’s needs are met and that the approach feels right for their family.
If you’re a new parent, you know the feeling all too well: your newborn wakes up crying in the middle of the night, and your first instinct is to scoop them up and comfort them. It’s natural. We want to protect and soothe our babies.
But as I learned when I was a new mom, sometimes friends, family, and other parents start talking about sleep training methods, and one name comes up a lot: the “cry-it-out” method.
The cry-it-out method is a sleep training approach where parents allow their baby to cry for a certain period before offering comfort. Some parents choose this method to help their baby learn to fall asleep on their own and to get longer stretches of rest at night.
Hearing about it for the first time can feel confusing, or even a little scary, but knowing the details helps you make a choice that feels right for your family.
In this article, we’ll break down what the cry-it-out method really means, how it works, what experts say, and tips for parents thinking about trying it.
What is the Cry It Out Method?
The cry-it-out (CIO) method is a type of sleep training where parents let their baby cry for a while before stepping in to comfort them. The idea is that, over time, babies learn to calm themselves and fall asleep on their own. You might also hear it called “extinction sleep training” or just “sleep training.”
In 1894, Dr. Luther Emmett Holt published The Care and Feeding of Children, a widely read parenting guide. In it, he told parents to let their babies “cry it out,” which reflected his belief in strict schedules and discipline. Years later, other doctors, such as Dr. Richard Ferber, introduced gentler methods with timed check-ins, which differ from the original CIO approach.
The main goal of the CIO method is to encourage babies to fall asleep on their own and sleep for longer stretches at night. Supporters believe this can lead to better sleep patterns, but not all experts agree on whether it’s the best or healthiest option for every baby.
How the Cry It Out Method Works
Most experts say babies aren’t ready for formal sleep training until about 4–6 months of age. At this stage, their sleep cycles become more predictable, and self-soothing behaviors, like sucking on their hands or shifting for comfort, start to appear. These skills gradually increase through the first year, and they help babies settle back to sleep on their own (1).
When babies reach this stage, the next step is preparing as a family. It helps to get everyone in the household on the same page about the approach, since consistency is key.
From there, parents can begin observing their baby’s sleepy cues — such as rubbing their eyes, fussiness, or slowing down during playtime. The idea is to place the baby in the crib when they’re drowsy but still awake. This will allow them to practice falling asleep without being held or rocked. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine makes this process easier, too.
Remember that crying is a baby’s main way of expressing needs, so answering that cry when something feels wrong protects both their safety and your bond.
Finally, check in with your pediatrician before starting any sleep training approach. They can help you confirm that your baby is ready and guide you toward methods that are safe and appropriate.
What Experts Think About the Cry It Out Method
A study from the University of Warwick followed 178 babies and their mothers from birth to 18 months. The researchers found that letting babies cry sometimes did not harm their attachment to their mothers, their behavior, or their emotional development. In fact, some babies cried less by 18 months if they had been left to fuss a little when they were younger (2, 3).
Professor Dieter Wolke, who co-authored the study, explained that parents shouldn’t stress too much about whether they respond right away or wait a few minutes — both the parent and baby usually adjust over time.
Not all experts agree. Amy Brown, professor of child public health at Swansea University, warned that the study had limits. She noted that most parents in the study rarely left their baby to cry for long, so the results may not apply to more intense versions of CIO.
She also pointed out that the study didn’t show whether the method is truly beneficial, and that many parents feel very distressed when their baby cries.
Other specialists offered a middle ground. Dr. Charlotte Faircloth from University College London said that the findings could reassure parents who already use CIO, but that parents should trust themselves to choose the approach that fits their family.
Tips for Parents Considering the Crying It Out Method
If you’re thinking about trying the cry-it-out method, it helps to go in prepared and with realistic expectations.
Ensure that your baby’s needs are met before starting
Always check that your baby is well-fed, has a clean diaper, and isn’t sick or in discomfort. CIO should never replace responding to your baby’s real needs.
Crying from hunger, a wet diaper, or illness should always be addressed right away — these are not moments for sleep training. Use CIO only after you’ve ruled out these needs, so your baby has a fair chance to practice self-soothing. A quick check before starting helps protect your baby’s comfort and gives you peace of mind.
Know it’s not for everyone
Every family approaches sleep differently. While some use CIO successfully, others feel more comfortable taking another route — and both are perfectly okay.
As a new mom with my first child, I felt strongly that CIO wasn’t for us. I wanted to be present for every cry, to meet his needs immediately, and I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything. Babies don’t stay little forever, and I reminded myself that one day he wouldn’t need me in the same way. To my surprise, by 3 months he learned to self-soothe on his own, which reassured me that our approach had been just right.
At What Age Can I Try the Cry It Out Method?
It is recommended to wait until your baby is at least 4 to 6 months old before trying the CIO method. Before 4 months, newborns still wake frequently to eat, and their nervous systems are not yet mature enough for formal sleep training. Trying CIO too early may cause unnecessary stress for both the baby and the parents.
It’s also important to remember that “ready” looks different for each child. Some babies may not be developmentally or emotionally ready for CIO until closer to 6 months or older. Factors such as your baby’s health, growth, and temperament all play a role.
Be sure to discuss with your pediatrician before you begin. They’ll help you understand if your baby is ready and point you toward options that fit your child’s needs.
How Long Should I Let My Baby Cry It Out?
There’s no universal rule for how long a baby should cry when using the CIO method. Some little ones calm down fairly quickly, while others need more time to adapt. The key is consistency and making sure your baby is developmentally ready before beginning this type of sleep training.
Babies may cry between 15–40 minutes before falling asleep, especially in the early nights of CIO. Some may cry less, others longer. As your baby practices self-soothing, you may notice the crying ease within just a few nights, and this will make bedtime calmer for both of you.
Alternatives to the Cry It Out Method
Some parents find the CIO method too difficult or stressful. Thankfully, there are other approaches to sleep training that still encourage healthy sleep habits.
Ferber Method
The Ferber Method, created by Dr. Richard Ferber, is often mistaken for the CIO approach but is actually different. Instead of leaving your baby alone until they sleep, parents check in at set intervals. These intervals start short, like 3–5 minutes, and get longer each time.
This method lets parents comfort their baby while also encouraging them to learn self-soothing. Studies show it can improve sleep without harming the bond between parent and child (3).
Pick-Up/Put-Down
The Pick-Up/Put-Down method was made popular by Tracy Hogg, also known as “The Baby Whisperer.” This approach is more hands-on than other sleep training methods.
When your baby cries, you pick them up to comfort them and then gently place them back in the crib once they are calm.
You repeat this as many times as needed until your baby falls asleep. It can take extra time and patience, but many parents like it because it keeps closeness and comfort at the center of bedtime.
Summary
Choosing whether to use the CIO method can feel difficult, and there’s no one right answer. Some families find it works well, while others prefer gentler approaches. What matters most is that your baby’s needs are met and that you feel confident in the method you choose.
Trust your instincts — you know your baby best, and whatever path you take, you’re supporting their growth and showing them love.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does CIO take to work?
Every baby is different. Some adjust within just a few nights, while others may take a week or two. Consistency usually helps the process go more smoothly.
Is CIO harmful for babies long-term?
There’s no single answer, since every baby and family is different. Some studies suggest that CIO doesn’t cause long-term harm for most children. Still, many experts point out that babies thrive when their needs are met with comfort and quick responses. Crying is simply how babies communicate, and being separated from caregivers can leave them feeling unsettled.
How do I know if CIO is right for my baby?
CIO works for some families, but not all. Babies are usually ready around 4–6 months, once they can self-soothe, and parents also need to feel okay with the process. If it doesn’t feel right, there are plenty of other sleep training options.
Sources:
- Burnham, M. M., Goodlin-Jones, B. L., Gaylor, E. E., & Anders, T. F. (2002). Nighttime sleep-wake patterns and self-soothing from birth to one year of age: A longitudinal intervention study. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, and Allied Disciplines, 43(6), 713. https://doi.org/10.1111/1469-7610.00076
- Davis, N. (2020, March 11). Should you let babies “cry it out”? Debate reignited by new study. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/11/leaving-babies-to-cry-does-no-harm-study-finds
- Bilgin, A., & Wolke, D. (2020). Parental use of 'cry it out' in infants: no adverse effects on attachment and behavioural development at 18 months. Journal of child psychology and psychiatry, and allied disciplines, 61(11), 1184–1193. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.13223
- Gradisar, M., Jackson, K., Spurrier, N. J., Gibson, J., Whitham, J., Williams, A. S., Dolby, R., & Kennaway, D. J. (2016). Behavioral Interventions for Infant Sleep Problems: A Randomized Controlled Trial. Pediatrics, 137(6), e20151486. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2015-1486